Looking Forward From the Rear View Mirror





Rear view mirrors are handy things.  You can see if there is someone tailgating you, you can see if there is a police officer getting ready to pull you over, you can see if your kids are acting up in the backseat, or even (heaven forfend) if there is kale stuck in your pearly whites.  But the best thing about a rear view mirror is that you can see where you've been, maybe not the whole journey, but certainly in the very recent past.  As they say, "you don't know where you're going unless you know where you've been."  (I actually looked this phrase up to see to whom I should attribute it but apparently its' antecedents are lost to the mists of time and the Internet so the phrase is technically a cliche -- ahhhh, knowledge)

 Given my last post on the grind that is my current training situation someone suggested that I take a look back to see how far I've come down the road. I suppose the easiest rear view is through pictures and I can see there are been some pretty significant physical changes over the past five years.
       September 2012             October 2014                August 2017

The problem with the grind is that it narrows your vision.  You tend to focus on what is right in front of you and if you do look up you see only the next task, the next turn of the wheel, the next bend in the road.  The problem with looking back, on the other hand, is that you don't see the grind.  These pictures don't tell you what I did every day to lose weight or get fitter and stronger.  They don't tell you about the hours and hours in the gym or the tears in fitting rooms or the "should I or shouldn't I" decisions in restaurants.  They don't tell you about the feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment when someone looks you up and down and says, "you do CrossFit?" in a tone of incredulity.

What those pictures do tell you though, is that the grind works.  With every pound lost from my body and every pound lifted in the gym, I changed.  With every inch I lost from my body and every inch I got closer to getting pull-ups, I changed.  With every clothing size I lost and with every competition shirt I wore, I changed.  I became stronger, tougher, more determined.  I became more open, more compassionate, more willing.  I became a student, a learner, a grower.  I became a much better version of the person I already was.

I am not the woman I was in September 2012 and I am not the woman I was in August 2017. But, I am also not the woman I will be next month or next year.  I'll be a product of the grind -- changed, refined, honed and better.  I'll also remember to check the rear view mirror a little more often ...














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